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Kung Fu Chaos (KFC) isn’t exactly your typical fighter like DOA or Mortal Kombat. It’s more of a ‘party’ game than a real fighter. I’m thinking Super Smash Brothers here. In KFC you will play one of 9 actors in a 1970’s style kung fu flick. Complete with horrible dub over acting and classic one-liners, KFC is full of stereotypical parodies for just about everything you can think to put in a movie. You’ll be able to play such characters as the wise ‘Master Sho-Yu’, dastardly ninja ‘Ninja Fu Hira’, or get down with sugar momma ‘Lucy Cannon’. There are 9 characters in all. 6 of them are available from the start.

It’s been a while since my thumbs have been sore from playing a game. Usually that’s either a sign of button mashing or an abundance of intense action. It’s a bit of both in KFC. It’s one of those games where you end up cursing at the TV and replaying levels just to spite the game. There are six modes to play through. Some of the modes need to be unlocked from “Ninja Challenge”. In Ninja Challenge, you’ll get to play close to 30 different scenes with a specific character of your choosing. You must fight your way through a secret clan of deadly ninja in this 1970’s style kung fu B movie. The director, Shao Ting, shouts out instructions, criticism and praise as you play through each scene. You are awarded stars based on how well your performance was. The scenes are actually a variety of minigames that range from kung fu battles to rescuing drowning ninja. Usually a scene will need 3 out of 5 stars to complete and unlock the next scene. If you can get more than 3 stars you will generally unlock something else in the game.

Let me tell you, there’s a TON of stuff to unlock, especially in Ninja Challenge mode. It’s a good idea to shoot for a minimum of 4 stars in each scene because the last scenes require that you’ve gotten at least 4 stars on ALL previous scenes. If you can get 5 stars, that’s even better. Some of the scenes are insanely hard so you probably won’t ever unlock absolutely everything. Your overall unlock progress is displayed to you in percentile. I even wonder if the guys who made the game (“Just Add Monsters” – what a clever name) can even get 5 stars on everything. I’ve sat for HOURS just trying to get 4 stars on a few scenes. I don’t see how it’s possible, outside of cheating, to get 5 stars on a couple of the scenes in Ninja Challenge. It’s not that the AI is too difficult, it’s more that you are given unrealistic expectations required to achieve 5 stars in a few scenes. Most of the AI ninja can be easily defeated using a small variety of tactics. Sometimes it’s straight up fighting while other times you have to punch once, then block and let him attack you, then immediately go back at him when his combo finishes. You are also timed, so not only do you have to get a sufficient amount of stars, you have to do it before time runs out. Mowing down enemy ninja’s very quickly, using special attacks and interacting with the set will earn you stars. It’s when you are expected to dodge level traps, slaughter 39 million ninja AND do it all in 60 seconds or less where I have the problem.

There are all sorts of other modes to play with. You can practice in Rehearsal mode, then move on to spar with up to 3 other human or AI opponents in Freestyle mode; team play included. There’s also Battle mode, which is basically like Freestyle mode, except you are battling in scenes from the Ninja Challenge. You can set the victory conditions, game speed and number of rounds. There’s also an option to record your gameplay so you can play it back later. There are two other modes that you can unlock via Ninja Challenge: Miniseries mode and the Championship. In Miniseries mode you will pick a character and play them through three new scene challenges. In the Championship battle, you will fight up to 3 other human or AI opponents in 12 rounds of kung fu madness. In the end, the victor will be determined according to their point total achieved during the 12 rounds of combat. If it sounds like there’s a lot to do, it’s because there is! The whole unlocking scheme is intertwined throughout several of the modes. Each locked item will tell you what you need to do in order to unlock it.

Graphically, KFC looks as good as you’d expect an Xbox title to. The animation is smooth and the frame rate is fast. The music is catchy and expectedly appropriate for the theme of the game. You can do your own soundtrack as well. Each character has a small library of cliché one-liners that they will spout during combat or when they initiate a certain move. The overall presentation of the game was done very well.

When I was playing, I had this overwhelming sensation of “I’ll never be able to finish this damn game”. There’s so much to unlock, almost TOO much in fact. Some of the challenges are way too hard to get 5 stars in. You’ll be at it for hours on a few of them. The AI ninja’s are also very predictable once you’ve fought them a few times. You’ll have more trouble fighting the camera and dodging the level traps than you will when fighting the enemy ninja. The combination of certain types of enemy ninja plus really annoying level traps can quickly get on your nerves and make you throw the game down in disgust. The camera will sometimes screw you as well, getting you stuck while the screen scrolls on, killing your character. The game doesn’t exactly have a lot of depth either. When it comes down to it, the fighting system is pretty generic. Most of the minigames only vary slightly from one and another and they threw in a few really stupid ones just for filler. KFC is one of those games that plays better with a friend. I was not able to stay as focused when I was playing by myself. You can tell it’s really geared towards 2-4 players. Alas there’s no Xbox live play either.

Kung Fu Chaos is what Fusion Frenzy and Whacked! should have been. The only thing it misses sorely is the ability to play over Xbox live. You should expect punchy kung fu style Smash Brothers gameplay. If you’ve never played a game like that before, then you should at least rent KFC and expose yourself to the genre. Don’t take the game too seriously and you’ll be just fine.