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Conker’s Bad Fur Day was a classic title for the N64. When it came out, it knocked just about everyone who played it on their ass. The game featured the once innocent Conker the squirrel, of Diddy Kong Racing fame. Conker went through development hell before it finally hit shelves during the last days of the N64 life cycle. The first versions showed off what was sure to be another average-above par platforming game for a system already filled to the brim with likewise titles. When Conker was finally shown to the public, it was far from what anyone in their wildest imagination would have thought. Conker was a booze hound, had a mouth like a trucker, and did jobs for anyone with some spare cash. This was not the same squirrel that we saw so many years ago, and thank god. Conker, when it came out, was a fresh slap in the face for everyone that didn’t think Nintendo had the sack to pull something like that. Nintendo has since lost said sack, but that’s not really the point…

So, why remake a game that was so near perfect the first time around? Well, to be blunt, Conker sold like crap on the defunct N64. It came at the end of the era, and everyone was turning their attention to Xbox, PS2 and Gamecube. It was an instant classic, yes, but one that very few got to sample. Putting a remake on the Xbox was the perfect way to give Conker his rightful chance to earn a name with gamers, while (in my opinion) cheaping gamers out of any (good) ‘new’ Rare games until Xbox 360 later this year. Was the effort worth it? As Conker would put it: F@%$ yeah!

Firstly, Conker Live and Reloaded’s most under-hyped feature: single player. The single player portion is an almost exact remake of the original single player campaign from the N64 game. With the exception of a new combat system (helloooo baseball bat), and some new jokes, Live and Reloaded’s single player is a perfect recreation of the game I had so much fun with years ago.

The story of the games single player is simple: Conker, a self-absorbed booze hound of a squirrel gets tanked with some buddies at a bar one night, and gets lost on his way back to his girlfriends house. This, somehow, lands him in a hilarious adventure featuring the single best cast of video game characters to appear in this (or the last) generation. There’s Birdy, the pill-popping scarecrow, there’s Gregg, the midget grim reaper with a hatred for cats, the Great Mighty Poo, a mad scientist weasel… I could go on forever, but it’s best seen first hand. The game features some of the best gags you’ll come across on Xbox, or any other current system, for that matter.

The only problem I found with the games single player portion is that the parodies (including Saving Private Ryan and The Matrix) make the game seem dated. Four years ago, the movies the game was spoofing were new, and it gave everyone a good laugh to see them made fun of, but now, not so much. I still got a good chuckle out of them, but some people might sit there going ‘but didn’t that movie come out, like… four years ago?’ And for the people that have already played Conker to death on their N64 years ago, some might be hard pressed to revisit it just for the fancy new graphics. That’s why god (or in this case, Rare/Microsoft) created multiplayer on Xbox Live.

Live and Reloaded’s multiplayer is brand new, and in no way resembles the slow paced multiplayer fare from the N64 classic. This round has been created from the ground, up for Xbox and Xbox Live, baby! Thankfully, though, it’s a blast to play.

When you load up a multiplayer game, you choose from either the SHC (the cute, loveable looking squirrels) or the Tediz (kind of like Nazi’s, but with teddy bears in place of the Germans). From there, you choose a character class, each one with unique abilities and weapons. Demolitionists carry bazookas, while Sneakers can use stealth, etc. You’ll almost instantly bond with one of the handful of classes available.

When you start out, you will come across death… in waves… your own death. This is due to the fact that playing the games multiplayer actually takes a bit of getting used to. Figuring out the little nuances of each character class takes some time, as does learning to master any of the five available vehicles in the game.

Map objectives vary, depending on your map, but they usually have something to do with capture the flag, or securing checkpoints. It’s pretty run of the mill stuff, but it has an undeniable charm in that you’re blowing the hell out of cute, cuddly little creatures the whole time.

There’s a bit of a balance issue with the multiplayer portion of the game, which stops it from being truly addicting. Demolitionists, for example, feel over powered. They might take the longest time to reload their weapons, but they can take out a handful of guys with one shot.

There’s an option to play either single player or 2 player split-screen versions of the Live game with bots, but nothing beats the feel of actually playing with other people. Live has kind of spoiled me, that way.

Conker is a brilliant looking game, hands down. If for nothing else, Live and Reloaded will be remembered as one of the best looking Xbox games ever. I say this because there’s little time left in Xbox’s life, and with only a handful of AAA games left in the wings, we’ll be lucky to see anything that can top the gorgeous visual elements of Conker. Conker himself animates smooth as silk, with phenomenal fur shading that makes you think you could reach out and touch his furry little tail. The environments in the game are crafted with the utmost attention to minute detail. Various enemies (and acquaintances) look great, nearly as great as Conker himself, and animate with a fluidity unmatched by any other game in Xbox’s library. There’s hardly a hitch in the framerate, be on Live or single player. This is definitely a benchmark title for Xbox, possibly it’s last.

Conkers adventure is very dialogue heavy, as you would expect a comedy-oriented game would be. It’s thankful then, that every voice over in the entire game is executed extremely well, and everyone suits their roles to a T. I’d say pretty much the entire cast has reprised their roles for the game, though most of the dialogue was probably just ripped from the older version of the game. The swearing is all bleeped out, which I found odd for the remake (since Xbox has seen it’s share of foul mouthed games), but in the vein that everything looks like it belongs in a Saturday morning cartoon for kids, it actually somehow adds to the comedic value of it all. The games soundtrack is great, and always captures the feel of the on screen action well, and some of the tracks are downright catchy.

As far as I’m concerned, Conker deserved a remake. The original was near perfect, but not nearly enough people got to enjoy the adventure. On the flip side, I feel as though we as Xbox gamers have been slightly ripped off by Microsoft and Rare, who promised us goldmines full of quality Rare titles for Xbox, but delivered only Grabbed by the Ghoulies, and now Conker Live and Reloaded. That aside, Conker is a great achievement on the Xbox. Some of the gameplay seems dated by now, but the overall experience is just as great this time as it was the first time. The jokes still hold up, the characters are as hilarious as ever, and yes, you still fight a gigantic singing pile of crap. What’s not to love? Any Xbox gamer looking to bide his/her time until the launch of the 360 would do themselves well to dive into the foul mouthed world of Conker the squirrel.