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The gameplay is linear in fashion with cut scenes that use the gaming engine itself instead of a cartoon or movie clips. You, the hero of the original heavy metal movie, have taken your people to a rather nice planet with some water that keeps you from aging (and heals you when your wounded). To keep others away you and your people designed a satellite to warn people that your planet was a disease ridden wasteland… the name of this satellite is FAKK 2. If you that without the “2” fast enough I’m sure you’ll get the designers intended meaning (Hint: it begins with F and ends with K, just like FAKK, but uses a different vowel). Anyway, one day green meteors start bombarding your world and damaging your shield, with some of them even breaking through the shield. These meteors have strange powers to mutate nice fluffy loveable creatures into nasty ones you have to kill. They start out small, but get bigger as you go along. There are bosses at the end of each area which you have to defeat, at least as you progress you get more, cooler, faster, better weapons… and as a bonus… your clothing starts to deteriorate. Not a good thing when you’re hooters would make Dolly Parton feel like a dimple breasted teeny bopper and your rear end would make Sir Mix-A lot (of “Baby got Back” fame) pass out. The best way to invison this game without playing it, would be to imagine Larua Croft… in the middle of a Victoria Secret commercial shoot… having to stop and save the world (without changing into real clothes) with some really cool weapons and some good gory effects.

The gameplay which, as stated earlier, is linear and if you don’t go into the training area you’re going to have a very hard time in this world. I don’t see to many people finishing this game and saying, “Wow… I have to play that again to see how it comes out next time.” The controls are a little hard to get used to, I often found myself swinging my sword at things that were attacking me only to not hit them because they were behind me or to the side and I wasn’t facing the correct direction to score a hit. The attack movements, when they work, are very nice looking. Combinations are even possible if you get the timing down right of left mouse hold, left mouse hold, right mouse hold. Different weapons have different combos and different weapon pairs have some really cool combos. That’s right weapon pairs, sword in right hand, green shooting dart gun in the other, leads to a really cool sword swinging combo that ends with a big green dart at whatever you happen to be facing.

The graphics in the game are both one of its’ high points and definitely its’ low point. By lowpoint, I mean in the gutter low. Crawling up a rope ladder between a stone formation that looked like spreading legs was a bit too much (see screen shots). The game is great, great story, great graphics, and great gameplay… I hated the fact that as I played I kept watching over my shoulder hoping my wife wouldn’t see me playing it because of the HUGE breasts and PHAT ass that I was in control of. The makers should have gone either all way and have her sleep with the bosses and kill them as they rest afterward, or have made her a rather realistically proportioned female with an adequate wardrobe. The T and A didn’t add anything to the game, of course that’s just my opinion.